nones, capítulo treinta y uno. para un suicida

  
spring is here again, tender age in bloom, he knows not what it mean, sell the kids for food, we can have some more | the water is so yellow, i’m a healthy student, you’re my vitamins | take your time, hurry up, the choice is yours, don’t be late | and just maybe i’m to blame for all i’ve heard but i’m not sure, i’m so exited i can’t wait to meet you there but i don’t care | i don’t care if it’s old, i don’t mind if i don’t have a mind, get away from your home | have to have poison skin, give an inch take a smile | never met a nice man, if so it’s a woman, gotta find a way to find a way, i had better wait | one more special message to go, as defense i’m neutered and spayed, what the hell am i trying to say? i got so high that i scratched till i bled | the second coming came in last and out of the closet | at the end of the rainbow and your rope | don’t hurt yourself, i want some help to help myself, she’s just bored like me | i’ve got this friend you see, who makes me feel, i don’t regret a thing | and the animals i’ve trapped have all become my pets | our little group has always been and always will until  the end, whit the lights out it’s less dangerous, here we are now entertain us, i feel stupid and contagious, here we are now entertain us, a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, yay, yay, a denial, i’m worse at what i do best and for this gift i feel blessed, i found it hard, it was hard to find, oh well, whatever, nevermind | 
  

nones, capítulo veintinueve

  
mañana será «just another manic monday» con sonrisas hechas de silicona, implantes, chistes negros, pastillas, juicios finales y plagios al payaso de la tele. ¿la juntás con pala, no?. no vivo, no muero, no sé. no me acuerdo. ¿ese? no existe. el papel no existe, los titulillos no existen. al país le falta imaginación. hace más de seis meses que la bestia se murió. el amor explota, como el ganglio. como el cerebro hecho chicle. «a veces me das miedo», que lo tenga. él no llama, no vive, no sonríe, se va a morir primero. si fuese por él, si fuese por sus canas, si al menos supiera lo que hago. ser persona también es un trabajo. estar vivo es un trabajo. quizá esté encerrado, quizá sea la manipulación genética. quizá sea la idea fija. es el caos después del orden y no sé. no me acuerdo. ser yo es es un trabajo. tener memoria es un trabajo que a veces es mejor no recordar. 

nones, capítulo veintisiete

esa mierda te hace perder el olfato y el sentido del gusto. caer hace perder el sentido de la vista. pensás, ella también, pero la perdono. demasiado largo para ser corto. la semiosis infinita no tiene sentido. como decía él, es no haberle hecho caso a mi niño interior. nadie llama, nadie oye. repudio ser. ser eso. un día algo se detuvo, atrasó siete minutos. puse dos despertadores. hace tres o cuatro días que recuperé el olfato, créase o no por un perfume, el que usaba ella. seguramente ella lo sabía, escribirle es complicado. la frase que hay en mi cabeza es «to die by your side, it's such a heavenly way to die». apago el reloj de las siete y media. suena, lo apago. perdí la noción del tiempo. perdí el hilo. no hay nada. una y mil veces no debería hablar con extraños, que no hagas eso, que portate bien, que qué te pasa hija, que el alma me la robaron, que por qué pienso en eso si pasó en mil novecientos noventa y tres, que los impares no importan, que el humor negro da para largo, que las pastillas no existen, eso no existe, debería existir el verbo requiescant pero en tiempo pasado, a un dos mil uno quizá, cuando no pensaba en eso. pensaba en lo que ella me escribió «uno se arrepiente de lo que hace, no de lo que no hace. vamos tenete confianza». pensaba en lo que dijo él «dios ha muerto, nosotros lo matamos». me quieren llevar. una y mil veces yo no soy yo. soy otro. me quieren llevar. ya no llego.   
  

nones, capítulo veinticinco

mes nuevo y al taller. qué lindo es ser del taller. aunque haya pelo, pegamento y señoras grandes. ficho al entrar, ficho al salir. 
  

nones, capítulo veintitrés

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404 Not Found